From our children's perspective, when they are in a situation, argument, banter, discomfort, their instinct might be to react or better yet respond, if we have taught them the difference. Seldom do they know that -
Not responding is a response.
Ignoring is not always rude.
Walking away is an option.
Increasingly, we hear of incidents around us in our community of children who lose their temper and resort to verbal or physical transgression. Of course, one or more child is hurt and even affected in ways that they do not understand. The aftereffects of the incident may linger for years or alter their personality in extreme cases.
Before we ask our children to understand this concept, have we tried it ? Have we walked away from a potentially negative situation?
It takes courage to walk away, just like it takes courage to stand up.
A simple tool to find the courage to walk away is 'bird's eye view'. Zoom out and think about how this altercation matters in the larger scheme of things and also whether it will matter a month from now? This will bring your blood pressure down and maybe even allow you to smile as you will see how small it is in your world and what matters to you. Always remember to center yourself and remind yourself of what matters the most to you.
Once you've done this, you will actually feel empowered and stronger than your opponent or opponents because you know better.
Then graciously and powerfully, walk away.
But why is walking away a good option? Mainly because it allows for time. For time to pass from the incident and allows our mind to process minute details of what happened and decide how it makes you feel. Most often, the situation that angered or triggered you will feel insignificant a week from it and non-existent a month into it.
Try it the next time you feel triggered, and if it works for you, it's likely to work for your child too. Educate them and equip them -
To Walk Away.