What defines you the most? Your hair, skin color, weight, voice, career, age, number of friends, swanky friends, expensive car, last vacation?
The list of judgements is endless.
People tend to look at you through a lens of judgements and perceptions created by them. Part of which, include judgements thrown at them by other people. You see this merry go round of flinging poop at the next person?
What will prompt you to jump off this carousel and head down a different path?
A-C-T
A- The Awareness of the retribution you are being subjected to and are passing on to others.
C- The Choice of judging someone based on 'features' or to have a conversation without discriminating and say to yourself, "Ok, You did that, So what?"
T - Trust yourself to be enough. Trust that you can look inside yourself beyond how people judge you and find your real strengths.
Find your roots.
Ask yourself - What keeps you grounded in the best and worst of times? Imagine you are a strong broad trunk tree. Rooted into the ground firmly. Every once in a while, a gusty wind comes by attempting to bend and uproot you. What are your qualities that keep you rooted in the ground? That saved you from the storm.
For some it might be- adaptability, confidence, optimism, honesty, balance, respect, courage for others it might be a never give up attitude. The list of strengths is endless.
Listen for your roots. List them.
These are the qualities that define you. And what you probably deserve to be judged for. Recognized for.
And the next time you want to gauge another person, look for their roots and applaud them.
Time to get off the ride.
Ref: Inner Game of Stress, a recommended read