Jess and Shanaya were besties since they were little. They would attend school and every class together. Joined at the hip, people would say. Most times people would expect them to be together and one without the other was a misnomer, an incomplete picture of sorts. They cherished each other.
After a while, a misunderstanding arose, and both felt wronged. No matter how hard they themselves and others tried to resolve it, the glass had been broken. The crack wasn't healing. One went into shell and the other was on attack mode. Both felt betrayed. Both judging the other's actions.
Have you felt this emotion of feeling betrayed, targeted or shunned by persons who you though were in your corner? If you have, did you allow the situation to change you? Many of us will bring our guard up against future relationships. But if you are someone who embraces life and people into your life with open arms, the guard doesn't come easy.
I'm reminded of something I read:
Love genuinely,
Care sincerely,
Help honestly,
without tearing yourself apart. Be your own friend first.
Ask yourself a few introspective questions - Does this make me happy, how am I feeling, am I allowing my light to dim to accommodate another person or is that person bringing out my best, what and why am I expected to change and am I ok with it, am I mirroring someone else's happiness as mine, am I setting unfair expectations, did I readjust my priorities?
This applies for all relationships.
At first, you might think it's selfish, but self-care is a necessity, not an afterthought.
Afterall, whose friend are you, if not even your own.